few problems, approaches and solutions

about me personal

update: http://ciju.in/partner-search/

this writeup is to find a partner for myself. if u r a friend/foe of mine, and u know a girl who is about as much weird as me, u could forward my profile link to her. hopefully two frustrated people might lead to less frustration around. moreover, if u dont agree with what i am, please ignore. in no way would my thoughts effect ur life.

while u read this, do remember, reality is not as simple as words. and also, my disbelief doesnt mean i hate people who believe, etc. infact, all most none of my friends are atheists (afaik). and most of my friends, whom i have had discussions with, dont agree with my thoughts.

so, to start with, i am a very liberal guy, not in literal sense, but rather what it stands for. i dont have religion or god. am open to many phenomenons considered taboo in society. i would like people to live and let others live, and to understand that they dont need other persons religion/cast/creed/type to know that he/she wont harm.
so, atleast, with this start, i have ruled out, maybe, more than 99% of girls.

second, i am not looking for an agreement approved by society (marriage). i am looking for a partner who, almost in every sense, is independent from me. but ofcourse, the one and only reason for us to continue with each other would be our emotional dependence on each other. this doesnt mean that i am not looking for longterm relations, rather this writeup is only for that reason (for a longterm relation). i just wont like the relationship to sustain on anything else except our emotional attachment. (99.99% ruled out!)

third, i am considered to be quite an un-emotional guy. but, to the contrary, i have found myself to be emotionally overcharged. and do spend quite some effort hiding it. have liked girls like crazy (well, to be frank, i have known crazier persons), without a hint to anyone. have spent days like hell, without people knowing about it. now and then some things do come out, to people whom i considered to be close, but again, that also doesnt work for me.
although i dont reveal myself, i also dont hide myself either. whenever someone asks frank questions, i am more than willing to explain what i am. but, genuine curiosity is rare indeed.
probably the word ‘introvert’ explains the way i am. hopefully, with a partner (if atall), i might be much more open. but more than that, my partner should always consider straight questions, to get frank answers. i am not a person to be counted for unsaid words.

fourth, i am a little curious type. most of what i am, is because of the curiosities i had, and my attempt to answer them. dont remember the starting, probably learned it as a technique from studies. the major leap came when i had fallen for girls (yeah, count > 1). bad academics and not much apparent reason in life, lead me to ask question, to myself. from ‘why me?’ to ‘why am i asking this?’ to questioning my prejudices. had to reason my self, to continue. falling unsuccessfully is quite a painful but beautiful experience. fortunately, i leaned a few things because of experience, and because i had learned to question. although, correctness of the knowledge gained, is questionable.

the kind i am, it seems difficult to find a matching partner. hopefully, this writeup might improve my chances a tad bit.

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6 responses to “about me personal

  1. sawrub June 8, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    your cijuBots are here, baaba. We have crawled this page, and we shall make this viral.

  2. saurabh June 9, 2009 at 11:53 am

    baba, i disagree that u have rejected 99.99% girls… believe me, there are more people outside like you then you can even ever imagine! and if you really want partner in life, u need to come out of this shell a lil bit, as you know, u want a partner who thinks alike, and if both of you remain in ur shells, it wouldn’t be really possible to find each other :)

    one more thing, its an extremely well written post… inspiring enough!

  3. sugandha June 10, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    quite straight and crisp! all the 99% girls whose possibility you have ruled out would like it :) and i agree with saurabh T. Ciju you are more adamant than introvert! seems like there is something you have held tight, you need to loosen it a bit and you will find that there are relatively more people like you than the other way round and that will automatically enhance your search sample space and hence the probability to find one :)

  4. sawrub June 11, 2009 at 11:48 am

    this female friend of mine says.. baba looks like wolverine. That cant be bad.

  5. Arun September 25, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Baba, I’d seen this post long back but never understood it fully. Now that I have read it again after months, it makes more sense.

    You are very unique in your own way. Just don’t change too much as others might suggest. Instead develop yourself, your sense of awareness, your own style, and become more self-aware. Everybody does this to some extent knowingly or unknowingly. You are cynical and adamant — that’s a great thing! Most people lack cynicism and don’t cultivate opinions on things around them. Also, you have a good sense of the difference between facts and opinions.

    All I’d really suggest would be to go out and meet more girls. Make yourself known. That’s the only way you’ll find one. If you’re going to stay put in your seat and just code, you may find none.

    It’s good you ruled out 99.99% of women. It shows that you’re selective and you don’t settle for just about anybody. Like Saurabh says, there are lots of beautiful women out there who’d find you and your perspectives attractive. Just go out and get them!

    And do blog about your adventures. When you find that special someone, let us know!

  6. Gaurav Gupta September 25, 2009 at 7:14 pm

    Wow… never read anything like this before!

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